I've been rubbish!

No arguing - I've been rubbish blogging recently, not keeping on top of things at home and demotivated at work! Not sure why.

I've got to get organised again!

Watch this space...

Moping

Well. Right now, I'm feeling completely battered (mentally). So, I'm writing this to try and put a positive spin on things, put them to one side and get myself back on track.

It's quiet here now, apart from Thanksgiving NFL, so I'm going to get up, make a cup of tea, sort out the clothes and lunches for tomorrow and then relax. I am not going to do any work because I'm too tired and I don't want to!

Tomorrow is going to be a really brilliant day - having my nails done, getting a hair cut, going out with good friends to a Wine Festival then on for a Chinese meal. The boys are staying away for the night. Then we're visiting friends in London on Sunday which will be fab as well.

So, I'm going to sort myself out and get on with it, looking forward to the weekend. I've wasted enough time this evening moping around so I'm off now ..

Back in the old routine

I went to the gym tonight. I'm feeling very pleased with myself because I haven't been since the first of October !!! I've managed to come up with an excuse for not going every Monday since then!

Not that I haven't done anything - I have been doing my 3 exercise classes a week as usual - just not working out in the gym.

It feels good. :o)

Rule 8. Schedule time for yourself

I'm not sure where I'm going to fit 'me time' in but I'm going to try hard. I'm not including exercising because I see that as essential, but I'd really like some time to do other stuff that I enjoy like gardening, reading, listening to music or just having a long old soak in the bath.

Well, Saturday night looks like a good place to start, I'll be home alone all evening. What shall I do? ...

I'll do something like ... pampering myself with a nice hot bath, then watching a film with a little drink (oo, I'll buy a bottle of Baileys specially) and having something lovely to eat.

Yes, I like the sound of that. I've put it in the diary!
Any suggestions on the film?

Taking back control

OK, things are not hectic any more. Busy at work, unorganised at home and the children are being difficult, but I wouldn't describe it as hectic.

I still feel that I've lost control and that's not good, so I'm going to look back over my rules and see where I'm going wrong. They do seem to keep me on the straight and narrow when I stick to them.

1. Get to bed on time.
Hmm, well, I suppose I'm not really getting to bed before 11 and I could if I tried.
2. Eat often, eat well.
Yes, I think there's definitely work to be done here. Since I went away to Newcastle for the weekend and ate out for every meal, I haven't really got back into good habits.
3. Good time management.
Again, I've not been great at this. I've got things under control at work but need to work on my home life.
4. Declutter!
Not too bad on this one. Just need to keep on top of things.
5. Don't feel guilty.
Have had a little guilt creeping in. But I know I shouldn't.
6. Save alcohol for special occassions.
Well, not too bad on this one, though I have had a few extra glasses of wine recently.
7. Reset when things get hectic.
I'm trying!

So not too bad, really. Just a bit more effort needed and I'll be back on track in no time.

Rule 7. Reset when things get hectic

When things get a bit out of hand, I'm going to check back over my rules and start again ... after a night off with a glass of wine and bar of chocolate!

Rule 6. Save alcohol for special occasions

Since my husband has been seriously training for the Great South Run (10 miles for Cancer Research, www.runningsponsorme.org.uk/stuartburnham) we haven't really been drinking in the evenings. It has made such a massive difference that I've decided to make it a rule.

I can't say that I'll give up drink because, let's face it, that's just not going to happen! Sometimes I really feel like I need a glass of wine at the end of a hard day, and it's fun to drink when socialising. I don't think the girls would appreciate it if I turned up to Grub Club with a bottle of lemonade. (Incidentally, it's not on this month because the others are going to see Take That in Belfast tonight - I just couldn't bring myself to go with them. Just couldn't do it. Going to see Arcade Fire next month though.)

So there we go. Less alcohol makes you feel more alert and less sleepy. Talk about stating the obvious! :o)

That reminds me: The Oxford Wine Festival is on soon. If you want a fab night out with a difference, I recommend it. Top tip: Don't get so drunk that you can't remember how much wine you've ordered at the end of the evening.

No more guilt!

It's great not feeling guilty about stuff!

As long as I get on with things the best I can, I know that there's nothing to feel guilty about.
I've found it easier to ask for help as well, knowing that I'm doing my best.
I've also realised that other people don't see me the way I see myself, which sounds a bit weird. Very difficult to put into words. I think I criticise myself far more than anyone else does.

Well, it's a nice frame of mind to be in, anyway, I hope I can keep it up.

Facebook

(www.facebook.com)
It's such a great way of staying in touch with people.
If you need a bit of a boost, there's always someone there to cheer you up, and if you're feeling good you can spread the love!
You can share photos and thoughts, or just have a bit of silly fun.
Check it out, and invite all your friends.

(Sounds like an advert, I know, but it's true!)

Rule 5. Don't feel guilty

I don't know why. Maybe it's a girl thing. Maybe it's just me.
I spend so much time feeling guilty and it really brings me down.
I worry that I'm not doing enough for the boys, I'm not doing enough housework, I'm not a good wife.
But the fact is: I am. I am doing my best pretty much all the time and, as my mum told me, you can only do your best.
So I have decided to stick two fingers up to guilt and get on with things.
I feel better already. :o)

Thoughts whilst ironing

I'm sure that something is amiss,
I'd be in a constant state of bliss,
If I found house work to be fun,
Because there's always something to be done!

Decluttering progress report

Well, the kitchen is still clutter-free although the clutter box still hasn't been emptied.
The bathroom is clutter-free (no box needed, just the bin!).
The living area storage baskets and drawers have been started on.
The bedroom desk has been cleaned out.

It's a good start, and it certainly feels great.
I reckon I can get the whole house done by Christmas... just in time for a whole new lot of clutter!

Rule 4. Declutter!

A tidy house makes a tidy mind? Well, it's worth a try!

I've already decluttered the kitchen. OK, so I now have a big box full of bits and pieces, but the idea is that I'll empty it, bit by bit, when I have time. And I'll try to do this all around the house. (The garage is a different matter - I'll just have to close my eyes to that!)

The kitchen is the first room we enter when we come home and it's makes a big difference to see it so neat and clean-looking. I've been finding a bit more time to keep the garden tidy too, which is great because it has double benefits - the garden looks nice and I find gardening therapeutic.

So, lets see how many rooms I can declutter in a week (maybe best to make it a fortnight) and see what effect it has on my state of mind.

One step ahead

Time management. Tricky. I wish I could actually manage time rather than it managing me!

There are a few key things that I have realised this week:
1 I must always stay one step ahead. Always be aware of what will be happening in the next couple of days (long enough to get laundry done and dry, and shopping done) and prepare for it.
2 I must get the trivial jobs done as soon as possible (answering invitations, filling in school forms, etc.) then they're out of the way and not niggling at me.
3 I must prioritise. If I don't have time to do everything, just make sure I do what's most important (usually involves food and laundry!).

I still can't come to terms with the fact that there will always be lots to do. Once I'm at peace with that, I think I'll have cracked it.

Must get on, lots to do...

Back in the Land of the Living

I’m back in the Land of the Living now after surviving the weekend with my nieces. Don’t get me wrong, they’re lovely little girls (when the 3 year old isn’t persistantly asking questions and the baby isn’t screaming) and I love them dearly.

It has taken me this long to feel normal again after the whole experience, which included 2 trips out in the car in my PJs, in the early hours of Sunday morning (12:30 and 4:30), to get the little one quietened down and back to sleep whilst my husband tried to calm the other 3 down back at home. Zzzzz. It was a major shock to the system!

I find that when I’m tired and in need of a boost, it’s really difficult to stick to my rules (chocolate plays a major part here), and the times when I’m fine and coping perfectly well, I find it really easy.
Hmm. Never mind.

When it comes to time management, I think I’m going to try to allow myself an extra ten minutes to do certain things, like getting ready for school. That way I should never be panicking at the last minute... Wishful thinking? :)

I must be mad

I have four children tonight!
A 7 and a 5 year old boy (mine), and a 3 year old girl and her 6 month old sister (my nieces).

I'm shattered - it's been non-stop today!

Early to bed for me tonight in anticipation of a very broken night's sleep.

Still, you have to love them, don't you ... ? :)

Deferring gratification and Grub Club

Grub Club: Once a month 3 friends and I take it in turns to cook a 3 course meal for each other.

I look forward to my Grub Club nights. I wonder what we're having tonight. I bet it won't be low GI - I think chocolate fondue and champagne were mentioned!!

The problem is, I've got 2 and a half hours (if I'm lucky) to cook for my lot, get the boys to bed, sort everything out ready for tomorrow and get myself ready to go out.
Hmm. No mean feat.

But it's worth it!
If I get everything done, I can have a lovely, relaxing, slightly drunken evening with good friends and good food.

It might be a different story when it's my turn to cook!

Do something or do nothing!

I quite often do things like start on a job with, say, an armful of washing, wander through the living room, stop to watch whatever is on TV for ten minutes, rooted to the spot, in a daze, before remembering what I'm supposed to be doing ...
It's so frustrating. I do this kind of thing all the time! No wonder it seems to take forever to do stuff.

I get told, "Either do something or do nothing!". In other words, get on with the washing or sit down and watch the telly!!

Focus is what's needed, I think!

The 'not to do' list

I'm always writing lists. I can't help it. I think it makes me feel like I'm more in control but, in reality, it probably has the opposite effect.
So, from now on, if I feel I need to write a list, I'm not going to write a 'to do' list, I'm going to write a 'done' list.
Much more satisfying.

And, as my friend Mary told me, "It's important to be proud of what you get done, and peaceful about what you don't get around to."
So true.

Bite size chunks

This morning was great!
We were organized, everything worked like clockwork, we were even early to school!
I'm feeling quite proud of myself.
If only every morning could be like that...

I know what I need to do to get organised and it mostly involves getting sorted out the night before.
Usually, after the stress of getting the boys to school, working, picking the boys up, dinner, keeping the peace, and boys' bedtime, not to mention exercise, the housework, the garden, the cats, the cars and, most importantly, my marriage to look after, the prospect of doing an hours' worth of chores is not a good one.

But yesterday it dawned on me that an hour is, in fact, 3 x 20 minute chunks, which seemed extremely manageable.
And so it was!

Why didn't that occur to me before?

Rule 3. Good time management

The boys will be back at school in 2 days and our lives will get a lot more hectic.

I need to properly manage my time so that I get as much as possible done to make things run smoothly.

I have a list of chores that I know need doing every day. I think it will take an hour to do them each evening, and then I need an hour each morning as well.

This one is not going to be so easy.

Rule 2: The verdict

There is no doubt in my mind that snacking on low GI foods really helps keep your energy levels up for longer.

For example, grabbing some fruit to eat when I start yawning in the afternoon fills me up, raises my energy levels and keeps me going for quite a while until I start flagging again. Whereas if I grab a bar of chocolate, I get an instant high which is soon followed by a low, more yawning and another chocolate bar!!

It just makes sense.

I would say that the two key things for me have been: Making time to eat a good breakfast and making sure I had lots of healthy snacks around for when I needed them.

It's really easy. And it's really good for me! I like it.

The Glycaemic Index (GI)

... is (to use Gina's words again) a ranking of carbohydrate foods based on their potential to raise blood sugar levels.

The higher a food is on the GI, the quicker the rise in blood sugar after eating it.

High GI foods are sugary, refined and highly processed. Low GI foods are natural, unrefined and in their complete state.

I went for a run last night ...

Only for a mile and a half or so. I haven't been for a couple of months and I just fancied it.
It felt great and left me feeling really energised.

More exercise followed - we bought a Wii yesterday, so I spent the evening prancing around the living room pretending to play tennis.
I must have looked an real idiot but it was great fun!!

A bad day

I broke both my rules yesterday and seem to be feeling the effects!

I spent my time from 11 till 2 manning a car boot sale stall, and from 3.30 till 7 at a barbecue. The circumstances seemed to dictate what I was eating and when. In fact, that's just an excuse - it was lack of planning on my part!
Come the evening, I was feeling tired, so I sat down to watch a film. I spent the evening on the sofa and resolved to get up a bit earlier to make lunches and so on. It didn't finish till 11 and wasn't even very good. Bang goes rule number 1.
I thought I'd be fine until, just after 4am this morning, my darling 5-year-old woke me up announcing "I've finished! Can you wipe my bottom, please!". Great.

The upshot was that I couldn't drag myself out of bed before 6.45 this morning, making me late, and I still had all my chores to do from the night before.

So, after a manic start, rushing around and getting flustered, I eventually got to work and settled down for the day.
Somehow, I managed to throw some healthy food into a bag before I ran out of the door this morning and am now back on track with my eating.
I will definitely be going to bed on time tonight!

Planning is the key to all of this, I think.
I feel rule number 3 coming on. :)

One happy lady

In the setting of a beautiful sunny garden, sat in the shade of a tree, watching the children run around having fun, and chatting with good friends, the only effect that lashings of tea and cakes had on me was to make me more happy and relaxed. Fantastic.
Home to a lovely greek salad with a little crusty bread and some ham, then homemade hummus and toasted pitta bread for supper with a glass of white.
I went to bed a happy lady - and that's what it's all about! :)

The 80:20 rule

When I was discussing the food thing with Gina, she gave me loads of useful information, including a sheet titled The 10 Principles.
I'm not sure whether she wrote it, or if it came from a book or the internet, but I'm sure she won't mind me sharing it with you.

Principle 1. Eat protein with complex carbohydrates.
Principle 2. Stay hydrated.
Principle 3. Eat a wide variety of foods.
Principle 4. Fuel up frequently.
Principle 5. Eat breakfast.
Principle 6. Avoid sugar.
Principle 7. Exercise is essential.
Principle 8. Follow the 80:20 rule.
Principle 9. Make time to eat.
Principle 10. Eat fat to lose fat.

This afternoon, I'm going to stray a little bit as I'm going to a charity garden party where there will be lashings of tea and cakes. Principle 6 is definitely going to be temporarily ignored! However, I like no.8 which tells me that it's perfectly normal to stray from time to time. If I eat healthily for at least 80% of the time then I can stray for 20% of the time. Which means I can enjoy this afternoon without feeling bad.

The last thing I want is to tie myself down to a diet where I can't eat cake! And, I believe Pat's cakes are the best I've ever tasted.

I'll blog about the other principles over the week but I thought I'd better add that Principle 10 is talking about eating essential fats not saturated ones!

Waiting for the weekend

It's 3:18 Friday afternoon and the day is dragging...
Time to reach for my grapes and oatcakes!
Good stuff.

I'm certainly feeling less hungry and more healthy eating low GI, but I'm finding it hard to plan the evening meals for all the family.
I guess I'll get better at it.
Anyone know any good recipes?

Rule 2. Eat often, eat well.

Well, the first rule seems fairly sensible to me. More sleep = less tiredness. As long as I don't have children wandering in to me with bad dreams at 3 o'clock in the morning, it definitely helps.
I think it's good to have a settled body clock, ie. go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning. There's also the added bonus of escaping into a good book before drifting off to sleep.
So, that rule's done and dusted (for now). It's a success!

The next rule, I've decided, is to do with eating.
I've had a long chat with my good friend and gym instructor, Gina, who has advised me that low GI foods are best for keeping your energy levels up and stop you getting sugar highs and lows.
It sounds straight forward, eat foods that release energy slowly and eat them often. It's not going to be a huge departure from what I do already. I'll have 3 meals a day with snacks in between, restricting the bad stuff and increasing the good stuff.
I've tried it for a few days already, keeping a food diary, and it seems fine. I'm going to stop doing the diary now because I think I've got the hang of it and I don't want it to take over my life, just be part of it.
The great thing about this is that I can apply it to the whole family and they shouldn't notice much difference! This should be a good one all round. :)

Bookworm reborn

I have, much to my surprise, found it quite easy to get to bed on time every night this week. Mind you, it is the summer holidays - no school uniforms, school run or karate classes to worry about.
I think I'll revisit this one in September when my schedule will be rather more hectic. Might not be so easy then.
One fantastic benefit that has come out of it is that I have more time to read. I love a good read and I've done loads more of it this week - reading a chapter every night rather than just a spread!
I'm definitely going to try to stick to this rule.

Good news, bad news

I have had a good start - getting to bed on time two nights in a row. Unfortunately, I suffered a migraine in between. :(
I wonder if any of the things I'm going to try in the forthcoming weeks will stop my migraines. ?
Still, even Wonderwoman has to have her off-days!

Rule 1. Get to bed on time.

Getting more sleep seems the obvious thing to start with. I usually plan to get to bed at 10:30 but I very rarely achieve that. And eight hours' sleep sounds ridiculous!
So what is realistic? I think I'll aim for 10:30 but make 11:00 my absolute deadline.
I'll try to get all my chores done in the evening so I don't have to get up so early in the morning.
Let's see how it goes.

Welcome to my blog

My problem is a common one. I am a married 33 year old mother of two young boys, with a job, and a house to look after. I love my family, I enjoy my work, and life is good. So why am I always tired?
OK, so there's always lots to do and, sometimes, just watching the children is exhausting, but I can't change that. So what can I change? There must be something!
I have a plan. What I intend to do is, every week or so, apply a new rule to my life. It could be anything from getting more sleep to more positive thinking. I'm going to stick to it as best I can and see what happens. If it helps I'll keep it, If not I'll forget it. Any help or advice would be very welcome.
Hopefully, it will be as simple as it sounds, so let's get started!

Dedication

Before I get started, I'd like to dedicate this to two wonderwomen whom I miss very much: Nanny and Merlin. I learnt many valuable lessons from each of them.